So once upon a time, Callum was an unemployed Juvie. And this was back when I
had pretty much just moved out of home, so I was rather tight for cash and on a
very strict budget. One weekend I had a friend over called Brendan. A strapping
young lad he was, Brendan however was also an unemployed Juvie. Jolly times
were had, until reaching the hour of dinner. Brendan and I thought it be
appropriate that we venture onwards to the local IGA to pick up ourselves some
keen tucker. Moments later we were walking past the frozen food section we were
keeping our eyes out for a nice, fulfilling and wholesome meal to quench our
ever growing hunger. Not long after, something caught our attention… Lasagne!
“Boy oh boy I could go for some Lasagne!” we expressed in rejoice. That was
some nice looking, delightful “McCains Frozen Family Lasagne” Convinced on our
decision, we looked at the price to our dismay… $11.50. “Oh balls” we said. And
how appropriate it was. For this adversary was quite deadly to us in our moneyless
state. But alas we were not done, as hope crept its way into that fateful
place:
“What’s this? A lasagne for $6.00?
Heavens to betsy! That sounds more like us.”
The Rabbi was pleased.
“I dunno man, it’s a Black & Gold lasagne…”
“So? Black & Gold aren’t THAT bad. And it’s only $6.00”
“Well yeah, but c’mon dude it does look rather dodgy doesn’t it.”
“Yeah I know… but what choice do we have? We’re unemployed. If only that were
not the case. We might be able to treat ourselves to this grand and divine
looking Lasagne.”
“Alright, I guess for now we’ll have to settle with dodgy looking Black &
Gold…. Unemployment Lasagne.”
And so it was decided. We made our way home, and to no delay we began preparing
our meal. Upon completion we began splitting our meal with anticipation and
excitement. To no delay, we began to mung down. Until…
“Ewwwww, this is awful!”
“It tastes like… it tastes like unemployment.”
It was amazingly bad. It was as if this IGA’s Black & Gold Lasagne was some
master crafted recipe engineered from the ground up to punish the
unemployed. We managed to soldier on our
way through 1 slice each, but that’s pretty much just because we spent our $6
on it and we were hungry. We gave the rest to the dog and proceed to cry and
wail.
“It tasted like death…
“If only we got that nice looking McCain’s lasagne... But we’re too poor.”
 |
| How glorious |
“Yep, we really need to get a job so next time we don’t have to get the
unemployment Lasagne.
We did our best to put it behind us and move on. Consequently or not, we both
eventually ended up getting jobs, giving up our unemployed status. A long while
after, my dear friend Brendan came over to my humble abode once again. However
this time in all our mighty employed status we went back to that IGA for round
#2. Sparing no thought we went for gold, grabbed the most expensive Lasagne we
could find and proceeded to mung down on that bad boy. And boy did It felt
good. Eating that non unemployment Lasagne felt prestigious, as if we were some
kind of upper-class citizen.
